Sometimes when I ask people what they are FEELING, they describe a THOUGHT or a BEHAVIOR.

Example:  Me: "How did that make you feel?"

Client: "I am not going to talk to that person ever again."

 

While there is emotion in that statement - it isn't a feeling - it is a thought and describes a future behavior. The feeling behind that statement might be sadness, anger, shame, guilt, or any number of other feelings.  A helpful strategy is to be able to separate feelings from thoughts and behaviors. That is where change can happen.  For example, I can feel anger or shame and choose my thoughts and behaviors.

I like to use these graphics below to help people put words to what they are feeling and to simply learn how to identify feelings. See if they help you.